Postcard from Portugal…

Hello there! How are you? I feel like I’ve been away from my little space here for a long time and it feels good to be back.

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Laying under a blue sky, this beach umbrella and feeling the sun on my face felt so good. I love the salty tight feel of your face when you’ve been on the beach for the day and not for the first time I wanted to somehow live nearer to the sea.

It was good to be away from the day to day, to not have to look in the diary and worry about deadlines. Good to be able to wake up with no plans and just let the day unfold.

We spent a lot of time at the beach…

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Running in and out of the waves…

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Just thinking…

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Managing plenty of Jedi training with big sticks…

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I’m not sure where Little Pickle found these (every day!) but after sand was flicked in my face for about the fiftieth time they managed to find a new home far away from our sunbed!

There are the most amazing doughnut sellers who walk up and down the beach selling warm, custard filled, sugar crusted balls of deliciousness. Oh my, they are so good. I may have eaten one too many but they are just so hard to resist and we were on holiday so I don’t think it counts!

We enjoyed lots of time round the pool…

Jumping into cool water…

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Painting…

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Playing with Star Wars Lego…

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and allowing R2D2 a few minutes to himself for a sunbathe before another battle to save the galaxy commenced…

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There were very happy times but I’m going to be really honest here and say that there were times when it was a very very tough couple of weeks. Autism and holidays are not always a happy combination. The routine, settling, living arrangements are all different and not for the first time Little Pickle’s symptoms seemed to  be heightened away from home. There were days where I cried and days where I laughed (because if I hadn’t I probably would have cried) and days where I felt really tired and worn down. I questioned whether it really was worth going away? Was Little Pickle finding it too much and was I doing the wrong thing expecting him to settle whilst we were away? At times I felt very sad and confused as I tried to find a path through the world of Autism.

I was so grateful for the chance to get away and would hate for anyone to think that I wasn’t hugely grateful for a holiday. There were some real breakthrough moments especially when Little Pickle walked on the sand barefoot for the first time and was able to change his normal bedtime and evening routine. This meant we were all able to go out in the evening for dinner which even last Summer wasn’t possible. I was very thankful that my family were there with me and that I was able to slip away one morning for a bit of time on my own.

I went to the little village near us and had hoped to visit this church and light a candle for my first baby boy…

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It’s a very peaceful place and I normally always light a candle for him when we’re away. It’s my way of making sure that he is with us even when we’re far from home. On the day that I visited there was a private service taking place so instead I sat outside and just enjoyed the quiet and let myself think of him.

When Little Pickle was in bed I managed to take some pictures of the flowers around the pool. I love the colour combination in these little beauties…

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A little bee was busy at work…

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Hot pink against lime green…pretty holiday blooms.

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During the evenings and one rainy morning I also managed a little bit of holiday crafting and finished a project that had been unfinished for a long time. I haven’t quite got round to photographing them yet but will share some pictures soon.

 I don’t normally post pictures of myself and Little Pickle but thought I would share this last one with you, taken in the early evening in the Portugal sunset…

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I love this picture.

Things are going to be ok.

xxxxxxxxxxx

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One thought on “Postcard from Portugal…

  1. What a beautiful, brave post. Reading it made me feel very emotional, I have a lot to learn from you. Looking forward to seeing you later and, with your help, starting my own bloggy journey. Lots of love, Jo xxx

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